Diversity at Hammersmith – a Homage

Hammersmith has strength in diversity, and we draw our members from well over 20 countries, reflecting the rich, multicultural city in which we’re based.

One of our new members, Christof, has not only brought some superb chess to our club, but also a love of diversity. He’s penned a wonderful homage to our multinational membership, in the form of an imagined consultation match vs. our near-neighbours, Battersea! Please enjoy…

John: Chaps, against Battersea, I’ll be your Captain by default, and we are all white in our first match.
Wyatt: Next match we will be All Blacks.
Charlie: Let’s be English and start with c4.
Paul: No English please! What about d4 and Queen’s gambit?!
Rubinder: Fine with d4, there are so many Indian variations.
Ryszard: d4 is okay, we might get the Polish defence.
Eddy: The common name for that line is Orang-Utan, and the politically correct name would then be the Malaysian/Indonesian defence.
Ryszard: Let’s not argue and play 1.b4, then we have Polish for sure.
Adam: Noooooooooo! Against Battersea it is e4!!!
Chris: Breaking News: Adam and e4!
Jim: All the most discerning players start with e4.
John: Hear ye, the word which the Lord (Clueless) speaketh. e4 it is.

Hammersmith: 1. e4
Battersea: 1… e5

Sylvain & Thomas: They don’t like the French!
Carsten: Nor the Scandinavian!
Rauno: Nor Caro-Kann with the Finnish Variation.
Ken: Nor the Hippo, the politically correct name being African Defence. We should petition for official recognition.
Bajrush: What a pity, we will not see the Yugoslav attack.

Hammersmith: 2. Nf3
Battersea: 2… Nc6

Pavel: Too bad, I would have liked to play against the Russian.
Jim: Now let’s play d4, Scotch!!
Tommaso: No, bishop c4, Italian!!
Javier: Take it easy amigos, vamos a la playa and go mainstream with Spanish.

Hammersmith: 3. Bb5
Battersea: 3… Nf6

Christof: Oh no, the Berlin wall again!

Hammersmith: 4. 0-0
Battersea: 4… Nxe4
Hammersmith: 5. d4
Battersea: 5… Be7

Phil: the best Canadian player used to play that.
Chris: Nd6 is better. Top-ranked Australian players use it.
Phil: Agreed. Our Caruana prefers Nd6 as well.

After 20 more moves, the Berlin Wall is destroyed, Battersea overcome and Hammersmith wins the game.

Marios & Kostis: We got some divine help from the Greek goddess Caissa.
Rhys: Caissa is not Greek! She is an invention by a Welshman.
Nadim: By the way, did you know that the game made its way to Europe in the 7th century via Lebanon?
Jon: And it did not end in Europe. Look at the new chess elite from China!
John: Soz Hammers, have to be paternalistic now: has everyone paid their membership fees??

3 thoughts on “Diversity at Hammersmith – a Homage”

  1. That’s so good that I am shall refrain from my usual caustic banter and just pinch it for the notorious @ Jimovsky23 twitter account.

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